My life as an amputee...

So far I've focused on my athletic accomplishments.  I feel it's a good time to bring up my road to recovery.  I tend not to want to talk about it.  It makes me feel very vulnerable but what helped me the most to get through it was hearing other peoples stories... here we go.

I was in inpatient rehab for a month and some change after my accident.  I had to go through cognitive, physical, and occupational therapy.  The coma I was in for a month and a half did a number on me.  I lost my muscle mass and due to decreased oxygen to the brain, they had to make sure my head was still on straight.  I didn't have enough strength to sit up in bed without assistance or even brush my teeth.  I was also suffering major nerve damage to my left arm so they were trying to figure out if I'd ever get it back.  They told me it wasn't going to return... Showed them ;)

Once I left rehab, it took three months for me to get my first prosthetic.  The wounds on my leg weren't healing properly because they "forgot" to take out my sutures.  Having a seven inch suture pulled from my leg because I found it poking out was definitely not the brightest time of my life.  One of those moments I doubled over in pain... more so the emotional kind.

After my accident it wasn't a quick bounce back, "I'm ready to take on the world" type of thing.  I was completely lost and numb.  A very dark time in my life.  Dying, to me, was the easy part.  A relief from so much pain.  Even though I was lost, I knew one thing, I never believed in easy and luckily for me, the two people I let into my life at that time didn't believe that either.  They gave me that tough love shit.  They believed in me and didn't pity me for a second.  They had my back no matter what.  I will never forget that...

The decision was made, suck it up and put in my all.  It took a good year to fully get myself together.  A lot of going to the gym and I decided to see a therapist.  I knew if I didn't I was going to be fucked for life.  One of the best decisions I've ever made.  I was lucky to find a blunt, intelligent woman who told me like it was and called me on my shit.

Once I got my endurance back, I jumped into sports.  Losing so much put the fire under my ass.  I had something to prove to myself and everyone else.  I'm so glad I did because nothing has been more satisfying or healing than breaking a good sweat and pushing yourself till failure.  Hearing people tell me I couldn't skateboard anymore gave me a goal which became a slippery slope into snowboarding and surfing.

Surfing is definitely my one true love now.  When I'm out there, by myself or with friends, all it takes is that one wave and it feels like I never lost my leg.  Any pain that I feel goes away for those few seconds.  In the beginning it felt like this pain inside would never go away.  I got sick of hearing that it'll get better... but it does.  Better than it ever was.